Juan Thing Remains

A tale of distraction. Like the pandemic in the system itself, I have uncovered a lot of irregularities in my situation and life. I guess it's the same for everybody else. The constant worrying and mental repercussions (which they deemed inevitable) has costed me a lot of energy and resources and the way I cope up has been either creative or destructive. Balancing the gratitude and the feeling of despair is tiring. I began to despise the term "New Normal" because it falls down on two polar opposites. Right now, it's about to feel chaotic due of the changes applied on the community quarantine guidelines. Thinking about it brings my inner problematic self to argue with myself. One voice telling me to be empathetic and be angry on how the things are turning out while the other one pursues surviving and saving my sanity and not trying to think about it. I guess it's in our nature to think about things. So in this entry,  I just compiled the songs I used to l

We all started as a novice learner. When you want to learn, you look it all up from the source. You weigh all uncertainties, gather principles, rules, and methods as if you're looking up a recipe. You heat up your learning curve, preheating the oven for what is to come. You’re hustling hands to mould a figure, kneading your potential. Then you wait, hoping your craft arises as you witness the 'proof' of your labor. As you scorch it through, you hover 'till the milled grain turns into a golden bun. In the end of it all, a simple chewing smile of approval is good enough; alternatively, as the bread flops, your ego falls apart. You ask yourself, “Why?” To understand the ‘whys’ of your success and downfalls, you list it with its source . Sometimes, you see the predicament correlates with your process. That’s the thing about grit. The trick is knowing what’s enough. Kneading – if you overdo, you'll stress it out. Leavening – an excess means a brisk